Mud and Mire: How God pulled me out of my mess

Pulled From The Mud and Mire

It has been nearly three years since God lifted me out of the slimy pit.

 

Three blissful, painful, and incredibly miraculous years.  You see, I was saved at the age of fifteen but I haven’t always let the Lord lead the way.  In fact many of those years I was living a life of rebellion.  I was navigating life on my own strength and I’m still living with the repercussions of my sin to this very day.

 

I was living a life that is all too familiar for many of us.  I had a heart that believed in God but I didn’t want to live for God.  What I mean by that is that I was having too much fun being in the world.  I live in a city that is littered with sin.  Drinking, gambling, night life, and that is only the tip of the iceberg.  I live in Las Vegas and I was doing what the Las Vegans do.  I was partying.

 

I was like a ship tossed back and forth on the sea.  One day I was out looking for worldly gratification and the next I was repentant and crying out to God because married life was a disaster.  It was a cocktail of chaos.  Every day I was slipping deeper and deeper into a pit of despair.  I literally found myself so deep in misery that I started to resent God.  I started blaming Him for all that was going wrong in my life and my heart began to grow hard.  I can remember the actual feeling of hopelessness.  It was awful and I was actually getting scared.  How could I let myself get to this place.  I could remember the days when I was seeking God wholeheartedly, reading the word, and serving at Church.  I felt like God would never take me back and that I would just be left to my own devices.  That is exactly what I deserved.  Oh, but how many of you know that our Lord Jesus loves us more than we can even fathom?  Have you been in that pit?

 

The enemy was planting twisted seeds of deception into my mind.  He began telling me that I was too messed up for anyone to love, especially the Almighty God.  I made the mistake of buying into that lie.  I was trying to wing it by keeping one foot in with the world and the other in church.  The problem with that way of living is that our God is a jealous God who wants us all to Himself.  He wants us to be all or nothing.

 

“I know all the things you do, that you are neither
hot or cold.  I wish that you were one or the other!
But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot
or cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!”
Revelations 3:15-16
 
 
 

Those are pretty strong words from an all powerful God and the threat was definitely real.  For whatever reason those words were ingrained in me and even at my darkest points I would think about them.

 

I can compare this verse to my love of coffee.  Having my morning coffee is one of my favorite morning routines as I’m sure many of you can relate to.  The thing is that even though I adore this coffee of mine it either has to be served steamy hot or icy cold.  There is no in-between.  If I let that hot coffee sit at my desk for too long sipping on that stuff can be pretty cringe-worthy.  So I see what God is saying here.  I had been sitting too long…I was now stagnant.

 

There I was, me in my lukewarm state driving to work one day.  I was defeated and stuck in a mess I had created.  I was tired of fighting and too broken to fix anything on my own.  Nothing seemed to be going right and I knew what the answer was.  I knew WHO the answer was.  Jesus.

 

I came to the sudden realization that I was waiting for an answer that would never come by relying on my own strength.  I had felt the truth before, I knew the truth.  So why was I staying away?  What was keeping me from being sold out for God?  It may have been sin, fear, or pride.  Maybe it was all of the above.  All I knew at that moment was I was done with the stale promises of the world.

 

I broke into tears and on that highway and I prayed.  I prayed for forgiveness.  I prayed for a new walk and a new way of life.  I would no longer hold back.  I prayed a prayer of being completely sold out for Jesus.  All I wanted was to be like Him, to feel Him, and to once again hear Him speaking into my life.  I was ready to serve Him without looking back.  Then something happened…

mudandmirecopy

 

I was filled
Peace.

 

Hope.

 

Yes, that quick!

“He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the 
mud and the mire.  He set my feet on the solid ground
and steadied me as I walked along.  He has given
me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what He has done and be amazed.  They
will put their trust in the LORD.”
Psalms 40:2-3
 
 

I was restored just as He promised I would be.  God did what He does best and gave me a second chance after I had already had too many to count.  He showed me mercy when I didn’t deserve it and gave me courage when I was too frail to fight.

 

Now things are completely different and life has taken on a whole new meaning.  Not only has He redeemed me but He has given me a new song.  My relationship with Jesus is now stronger than it has ever been and I am so grateful that He chose me.  He has created beauty from ashes.  The most beautiful thing is that the promise is reserved for you too.  You don’t have to stay stuck in the mud, you can choose today to be rescued.  Let the Lord pull you out of your mess.

 

If you are looking for a way to dig in deeper with our Lord and Savior, I recommend starting a Family Bible Study.  It has never been easier to get your family on the right track with resources like this.  Not only will you be blessed, but so will your entire family.

All my love,
mysignature

 

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  • Thanks for sharing your story, Natalie. I love God's grace and mercy in not just lifting us out of the pit but giving us a new song to sing. I spent too long being lukewarm as well and though my pit was different that was where I really saw my need of him. So grateful that he rescues and restores us!

  • Can I just say "I feel ya girl!" I was right there in that place too. I felt that despair just as you did. And then the Lord intervened in a way that I could give no one else credit but Him. Isn't He just wonderful! Thank you for sharing these words and being so vulnerable! Our Father will use your journey to touch so many others! Blessings to you 🙂

    http://www.littlelightonahill.com

  • Thank you Keri! I thank the Lord for saving me and even though it's nerve-racking putting myself out there I know that it is all for His glory. That makes it worth it!

  • What a beautiful testimony of God's grace and love towards His prodigal daughter! Thank-you for sharing the reason you have hope. May others be encouraged to look toward's Him for their own redemption. Blessings… Wendy visiting from CWBU.

  • Thank you for sharing your story with us Natalie. Isn't it awesome that the King of the Universe loves us so much that he goes out of his way to save us? What a wonderful God!

  • It's a hard thing to share the parts of your story that aren't exactly like you'd like them to be. But you do a great job of pointing us to Jesus through it all. Thank you for being brave and sharing with us!

  • Thanks for sharing your testimony with us. We thank God that you held on to His promises. Even though your circumstances told seemed great God is greater.

  • Wow! We have a lot in common! My testimony is very similar to yours! Can’t wait to share my story via podcast on my site! Keep doing what you do lady!

  • I, too, have a pretty ugly tragic past but God is such a wonderful Artist that he takes all our shattered , broken pieces of our lives and lets His light shine out through our mended cracks. Some of my wounds are still raw but I am not weeping like I used to. I sing to my Lord and King instead and the music is a balm to my hurting but healing soul 🙂 .

    Thank you so much for sharing your Testimony with all of us.

    • Amen Karen,
      The Lord uses our broken past and what we have learned in the process to help others. There is purpose behind every trial and He uses all things for the good of those who love Him. Thank you for stopping in and writing such an encouraging comment : )

  • I am in a similar place…I’ve always been half in/half out…but due to recent circumstances I’m so broken and hurt. YET I still struggle with going back to sin in moments of weakness…seeking anything from physical to emotional comfort in the one person I know I need to let go of…

    Did you struggle? How did you wait on God as you were staying away from your old life and entering the new one?

    • Crystal,
      The struggle will always be there because we have sinful natures. The process is gradual and comes with making decisions each day to take a stand for God. What do I mean by that? It means we have to guard our hearts from worldly perspectives and influences, pray for strength, read the word so that we fill ourselves with His truth, and have fellowship with other Believers. This is to be done daily. The more you immerse yourself in the things of God, the easier it becomes to say no to the things of the world and sin. The best part is that we are not alone, Jesus is there with us every step of the way and His spirit is guiding us. How do I know that? Because of conviction. You can only feel God’s conviction when you are sinning if His spirit resides in you. Be encouraged dear Crystal. Walking with the Lord is just what it sounds like, it’s a walk through life that brings us to our destination. Walking takes time. I’ll be sending you an email as well : )